Six Types of Software Developers

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1.The Really Junior Kind

In software development, it is not uncommon to find a kid who just finished college working next to your cubicle. This person is ready to go over capacity, understand all frameworks and learn every single language in this planet. Hell, this person wants to do your job, bosses job and his/her job for twelve hours straight. Still, through all, the really junior kind will have smile on his/her face. I am definitely not saying one should be like this in anyway. I mean, only if you want to, I guess.

2.The Mediocre

This person has been in the industry for 10 years. Maybe 30 years. Who knows, right? We just have to know that this person has been around forever. He/ she is not a failure as a human or anything. He/ she is just the type that would make other peers reviewing their code wonder. Wonder about what, you ask? Idk, take it as you will. This person probably has never truly built anything from scratch and hides under bug fixes tasks and configuration management. That’s not a bad thing, it is just a thing. I think I fall into this category. I am not sure.

3.The Really Senior Type

This person knows all the fucking best practices and useful enhancements. Although, he/ she will claim that they “always have more to learn”. This person knows all of the layers: client/backend/server/ database/ network/security — just everything, okay? Maybe this person even built all the data centers in the campus, singlehandedly. He/ she is always patient with all the spikes before even starting the implementation. He/ she is more than willing to teach others and not hoard knowledge.

4.The Other Senior Type

Okay, now this developer type is the opposite of The Really Senior Type. Sure, this person has been in the scene for awhile. However, he/she values their tenure over their actual skills. This type will be the one during sprint planning bullying the scrum master into giving him/her only the things that work with their schedule/leisure. He/She is ready to fight the tech lead, project manager and the CEO. Bring it on!! Also, he/she is not patient. Nope. The Other Senior Type will call your team members out just to feel superior. Also offers no offer to remedy whatever issue is being called out. One should not put others down if one is not willing to help them up. Just saying.

5.The Angry Type

The Angry Type can either be newbie/ midlevel/ senior. It does not matter. This person will go way over capacity. Always super helpful. Always churning out tickets. Takes it in the ass for the whole team and taking names. All around good work ethics and very competent. The catch is: all the useful aspects of The Angry Type, will be …angry while doing it all. For an example, he/she is always cussing out the desktop/IDE/Code/Pipeline/Unit Tests/Debugging and blames God/childhood/government/climate change. For every single thing that is wrong with the application. Hell, the whole world!! It’s true, they are all out to get us and the fucking sky is falling. Acid Rain. Climate Change!!!!!!!!!!

6.The Invisible Type

Now this is somewhat of a rare phenomena. However, every now and then you see a team with at least one developer that is either never there/ always muted. One can wonder if this person even actually exists. Have no fear, he/ she totally exists….

And somehow, progresses are being logged mysteriously to this assignees tickets…